Progress on Sandy Cape: Dearest

I remain incorporeal. I remain suffused throughout the world. But this world is a new world. It’s… normal. It’s homely. Would that I were as normal as it. Alas, not yet.

On the upside, being in all places has made my job easy. I didn’t have to hunt for She. She was just there. She remains a pop star in this world, and She is in all media at all times. It was facile to hunt her down and to follow her. And now I wait for the song that is sung to me. She is constantly singing songs, but they are not the songs for me. They are songs for everyone. And so I wait.

Today, I find her at her home, a mansion in the city of the beautiful bridge. It’s not a huge, rambling country estate, but it’s large for the city and opulent and well-appointed. She waits in her sitting room as her management and marketing team sit in another room and hammer out strategy for the coming year. She knows it ought to concern her and She knows She ought to take part, but when She tried to join, She was told not to worry herself. She was dismissed.

And so She sits on her sofa and watches the rain fall. The spatters on her window. The drops collecting on the flowers on the patio. The rivulets streaming off the leaves of the trees. And She feels just a little sad. Though She is adored by millions nationwide, She feels that She is alone. Truly alone. Feeling alone in a crowd is the worst type of loneliness. Would that I could touch her mind and let her know that I am here with her always, but alas, I cannot.

A lady enters the room and hands She a coffee. She stares at it for a moment, then, without smiling or making eye contact, nods and takes the cup. The lady bows slightly and exits the way she came in. She sits the cup on the table and stares at it. A voice is growing in her head, and it’s telling her to run away. The voice grips her stomach and She can no longer resist. She stands abruptly, knocking the cup of coffee over. She runs for the door, grabs her coat and bursts outside.

She has no time to lose. If her team inside notice She’s gone, they’ll come and retrieve her. She wants to feel free, just for a few hours. She wants to make a single, real connection with a person who sees She for She, and not for her pop idol persona. She runs down the street, the rain slowly soaking her.

She approaches a shopping street and taking little pain to disguise her identity, walks among the people there. She admires how carefree they are in their window-shopping, how they can be so free and at ease with their special someone.

As She is lost in thought, soaked to the bone and slightly disheveled, she hears a man yell, “Hey!” and looks towards it, only to be greeted with the flash of a camera. The paparazzi have found her, and they pose a barrier to her quest to have a real, honest connection with someone today. The paps dehumanize the famous and make them out to be better, almost godlike. And while She is sure her marketing team has no problem with that, some days, She’d just like to be a normal person.

She steps towards the pap and pushes him, causing him to fall backwards into a puddle. And then She runs. She runs through the rain, She runs through the street. She runs and She runs and She runs, and for a few minutes, She feels free like She’s not felt free in ages.

Turning a corner, She ducks into a shop entrance to catch her breath, and She smiles in spite of herself. Looking up, she notices a girl is also sheltering from the rain there. The girl gives She a puzzled look. She just nods and smiles. The girl is satisfied and holds out a handful of jellybeans to She. At first She is surprised, but She nods again and accepts them. The girl smiles and the two stand there enjoying jelly beans, company, and genuine human interaction for a few minutes. And for a brief time, She is happy.

But then she hears another shout, oh no, the paps are catching up! Flee! She smiles at the girl, and then runs out into the rain again. She jumps in the back of a parked taxi. “What’s going on? I’m on a break!” the driver exclaims. She just shakes her head.

“Drive.”

The driver raises an eyebrow, but then nods and they pull away just as the paparazzi turn the corner and run past her.

They drive for hours. A rainy day becomes a cloudy night. A cloudy night becomes a misty morning. A misty morning becomes a sunny afternoon. And when finally they part ways, the driver and She have shared their hopes and their dreams and have made a real connection. They hug, and he drives off, leaving She here.

Sun baked hills stretch the horizon, and every one is covered with wind turbines. Pausing, She can’t actually remember why She came here. She felt compelled to, though. She stands and looks out on the multitude wind turbines. None are moving, there is no wind.

But I am here. And I have been waiting. Though I cannot touch her mind, I can make the wind blow. And I do. At first just a light breeze, just enough to move her hair, but soon I’ve got the wind strong enough that every wind turbine is spinning. She whirls around and as it dawns on her, She smiles. So often I’ve been the one solving a riddle and searching for her — this time I turned the tables on her, and She’s enjoyed it.

And now that we have found one another, She begins.

Truly, She sings, it’s good to throw away everything except that which is most important to you. Reality is only cruel. But whenever I feel like that, if I close my eyes, there I can see you, smiling as ever.

Ah, until the day I fall asleep forever, She sings, somehow I want to always be with that smile.

All the people are sad, She sings, even though they are forgetful beings. There is something I can do, She continues, for the sake of the things I ought to love, and for the sake of the things I do love.

Ah, the day we met, She sings, everything we did was so awkward. But that time is so far away now, and we have both been so wounded.

Ah, the day we met, She sings, everything we did was so awkward. But that time is so far away now, and we still just struggle along as best we can.

She stops. I cause the wind to blow stronger. She leans into me and raises her arms and suddenly we are together, whirling into the heavens, destination unknown.