In Which Navi Tries to Kill Me

I have a satnav in my car (or, car navi, if you’re in Japan).  I call her Navi, because she is annoying in a HAY, LISTEN HAY, LISTEN sort of way.

Anyway, to get to my part of town from Route 4, there’s the front way, by coming in at Lower Houshakuji and then going to my house from the south, or there are weird back ways, coming in from the north, on narrow bendy one lane roads with blind corners. I’d only ever gone down one of these back ways, and that was to get OUT of Houshakuji, not get in.

On the way back from Ujiie a little while back, I thought, welp, let’s try one of the back ways.  One of them comes in just south of the junior high school, and along the west side of the tracks until south of the station where it meets the front way in.  The other comes in just north of the junior high school. I took this one. Once Navi had recalculated, she directed me to turn left off this road, cross the train tracks (a car-passable, but not car-designed crossing over the Tohoku Line), go a bit south and cross over the Karasuyama Line, then direct to home. Excellent, I thought. Good times.

Crossed the Tohoku line, took a quick right, and headed towards the Karasuyama Line crossing.  There was, however, a small issue. (1) At this point, the Karasuyama line exists in a deep ditch carved out of the rise on which Houshakuji sits and (2) the crossing is actually a bridge, not a level crossing.  What’s the problem with that, you’re wondering? What’s wrong with a bridge?  I’ll show you what’s wrong with a bridge.

Bridge over the Karasuyama Line
Bridge over the Karasuyama Line

That’s right. Navi wanted me to drive over a footbridge to get home.  Home was quite close, at this point too! 500m at most. I could just make out the roof in the distance off to the right. Would have taken me like, 2 minutes to get home… had it been a real bridge, and not a foot bridge.  Instead, I had to double back, cross back to the west side of the Tohoku line, drive south until that road met the other backway, and then pass the station and come in the normal way.  Disappointing, to be sure.

It would have been a great way home, if there’d been a real bridge there. Navi, bless her, she means well but she’s thick as a brick.

Internet Radio Play: Final Fantasy Tactics

Final Fantasy Tactics
Final Fantasy Tactics

Like I was saying last time, for a while I was involved in internet radio plays. I was so excited about the idea of them that I actually started up my own. I was going to produce a Final Fantasy Tactics play. It was going to be epic.  I got all the lines recorded by people, I got them sent in, I mixed a couple of scenes, and then… nothing. Ran out of interest and time.  It’s the first big project I ever started (first of many). It’s also the first big project I never finished (first of many).

The most upsetting part of the thing is that I don’t think I even have the files anymore, so I can’t pick it up now. If I DO have the files, they’re on a 10 year old CD in my damp basement in Canada. Chances of those still working? Nil. 🙁

Anyway, let’s enjoying what I DID make.

The first scene, and the opening credits:

[wpaudio url=”http://life.enhasa.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/000-FFT-Intro.mp3″]

[wpaudio url=”http://life.enhasa.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/001-FFT-Credits.mp3″]

The Promotional Video:

The Audition Advertisement (you can tell it’s 1999, because I felt the need to say the http:// when saying the name of the website [though, to be fair, it was a nonstandard URL {look I can nest brackets}]):

[wpaudio url=”http://life.enhasa.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/Bonus02-FFTauditionsopen.mp3″]

The “Death Trailer”:

[wpaudio url=”http://life.enhasa.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/Bonus03-HighQualitySadDeathTrailer.mp3″]

While listening to the various clips as they came in, it became clear that a lot of the incidental grunts groans and screams of pain could, when taken out of context, sound rather kinky. So, I made this dodgy little omake, the FFT Audio Pr0n:

[wpaudio url=”http://life.enhasa.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/Bonus04-FFTAudioPr0n.mp3″]

And that’s it! That’s all that’s left of the FFT Audio Drama.  Kind of sad in a way…

Internet Radio Play: Destiny

Radio Play (by Thomas Roche)

Back in the day, I wrote. A lot. Problem is, it was mostly fan fiction. Final Fantasy 7 fan fiction. Melodramatic Final Fantasy 7 fan fiction.  This is the sort of stuff you’d facepalm at if you ever stumbled into fanfiction.net.  In my defense, I was in high school, and pretty angsty, so you can’t really hold it against me.

At any rate, at the same time, my clique of internet friends were involved in doing internet radio plays.  Someone would write a script (usually anime or video game related), and then have people from all over the place record their lines, e-mail them in (remember, this was like, 1999 — a 5mb file was a big fucking deal), and then they’d get edited together by the director/producer and released.

I wanted in! So I made this. It’s not very good, but you know, whatever.  It’s a shame I don’t talk to the people in it anymore.  They’re cool cats, this one horrible nerdfest aside.

[wpaudio url=”http://life.enhasa.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/drama.Final_.Fantasy.7.Destiny.mp3-ZeaL.mp3″]